Le Sigh

What do I say what do I do...

I havent written him, not because i havent wanted to or thought about it
i just havent had a moment alone this week...
with family stuff arising, working being rediculas, and going to the concert last night, things havent been normal...
i miss his emails though, and i have checked every morning for one....
he hasnt responded to my last one yet.....that hurt.....probably another reason i have waited.....
i dont even know if he reads this still, since its been awhile since i wrote.....but...heres hoping...

i miss him....

im lost....

i am lost and need someone to help me...

its so weird, i can do so many things alone and by myself, i have a great job where i make the choices all day long, i can cook and clean(when i so desire lol) i know what i want to be and how i want to be that person...

however, when it comes to being me, and being happy and making the right choices with love and the such, i get so lost, is S. worth the chance, better yet, is that missing piece worth the chance......loosing him scares me....really scares me....what happens when i lose him and im alone again.....or when i dont have the life i do now.....

but theres so much to gain too.....

so confused...so confused......